Continued...
When I finished the project assignment, it was like 5.30 in the morning. I opened my Fontys mail (the official mail used for school's business) to send the project to the coach. The e-mail was sent but then I saw an e-mail from the coach in my inbox.
In the e-mail she said that she was sorry to send the feedback of the previous report late. Yes, this feedback was one that I waited for too and I was just able to open it this morning. The feedback was like what I expected it would be. The previous report still needs to have a lot of adjustment on it. I knew it that she was right and I need to make a huge change on it. But still, I was quite disappointed with myself. I had done that part for the whole night and the result was....
In a moment, I realized, I did not want to be overwhelmed by my disappointment, since it will not help anything. The only thing that will help was to change the report itself. At that moment, I decided to fix the previous report and wished to finish it before the seminar at 9 starts. I leaved out the other issues in my mind for tonight.
When I was half way doing the fixing things, the short arm of the clock pointed at number 6. Suddenly, a new yahoo messenger window appeared in my desktop. It was my lovely funny just-married sister, Devi. I was not expecting of her at that moment. At first it was like distracting my concentration on my plan, on my project. I tried to cut the conversation short but how could I? It was a long time since we had our last conversation.
During our call, my heart was not calm, but I tried to be as objective as possible and control myself. I talked to myself, "What on earth am I here for? Myself? My study? Others?". I replied, "Not for myself. The Invisible was used to be living for others. He was there when others need Him." I added, "Okay, then".
In the middle of the talk, another windows appeared. It was from an old friend, Kak Rey. It seemed that I missed the whole thing about Rehoboth since I leaved for the Netherlands three months ago. Rehoboth is growing fast and well-equipped now. More people are brought to the Way and there is more of the freedom-we-know in those people.
I was quite happy to hear this kind of news and the call was going well too. But I was feeling desperate in someway. The time was getting shorter before I had to face my real life at school and I felt unprepared. I felt that I needed the Invisible hand to take my hand and lead my way today. At 7.30, I ended all conversations. I came back to the heart of worship.
I only had 30 minutes to approach the Invisible. It was short but enough. Directly, I told the Invisible, "I can not pass today." In my mind, having the seminar today was not so necessary compared to other assignments that I should be finishing. It would be just a waste of time, listening to a stranger and his marketing theory and also working on a case with unknown team-members. I really did not think that it would be cool to attend this seminar. But I should, it would be graded. =(.
Apparently, as I came closer to the Invisible, I knew that if I kept on thinking like this the day would be a real waste. I would not get anything out of the tiring boring nine periods seminar. Still, I just could not get rid of all my negative thinking. It fuzzed me up. What I did later on was kept in the presence of the Invisible until I got an answer.
"Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." I responsed to the answer quickly, "I am coming". And from the moment, I got the strength to go to the seminar and enjoy it.
The seminar was not bad at all, though some people were sleepy when the lecture going on. I could also cheer Ria as she was homesick the whole morning. And before the seminar began, at lunch time and after the seminar is over there were snacks, sandwiches and coffee. Everything was for the rejoicing tummy. At the end, I also got the only and the best team ever in the seminar (in my point of view).
To end today's long journey. A surprise was given by the Invisible. Our team won the case. We had to present our findings for the case in front. I thought, all the gentlemen would do the talking. So, I was relaxed and went to the podium confidently. I thought, I would say no words what should I be nervous of.
Inexpectedly, things change so fast in the podium. The team was lacking one person to do the last part of the presentation. There was no other option, except me, then there I did it. Well, the Invisible put His words in my mouth, so today I said a word before a number of audiences and got a quite warm applause from them. The applause was the Invisible's. Thank you, Vi.
The Hand lifted me up from nothing to something today. Only if I would not find the strength, I would not be able to pass the day and have this blog written this way. Everything comes from, is for and is unto the Lover of my soul, the Invisible.
The End.
Thursday, 4 December 2008
The Hand Lifted Me Up (Part 1)
Today I woke up quite early, about one or two o'clock in the morning. Well, I planned to wake up earlier actually; like on 10 o'clock the day before. I still had to finish a lot of things, I knew. And these whole project assignments, reports and reflections really drove me crazy.
Yesterday, I slept at seven in the evening. The main reason why I went to bed so soon was my tummy. I was so hungry but so lazy to cook anything and then the smart thought came by. I was like thinking that I could sleep first for about one or two hours and wake up before eight. I hoped that Ko Budi would get home late and thus cook the dinner late and I could eat together with him without cooking. That was so smart and mean of me. =).
But, I am sure you all know the fact, I could not wake up at eight. The sleepingsmarty was overslept. The bed, the blanket, and the air were so attractive that made me more unwilling to step down on the floor and let the comfort get away from my body. I stayed in bed for hours till I knew it was one and I should get my things done.
First thing to do was my dinner, my dearest tummy really demanded me for the delay in the delivery. The dinner was no longer dinner, it turned to a breakfast. Pancakes without anything were put in the one-minute-set microwave and I drank my tasty, addictive banana milk. In three seconds the banana milk was gone. As far as I could remember, I finished one liter of the milk in one day. What a milk.
The pancakes were ready and I brought it upstairs, to my messy-cute room. I had decided to have my dinfast (dinner-breakfast) and the assignment together. I opened mozzila of course, not internet explorer, and tried to open my e-mail. I waited for so long, but it kept loading. And suddenly, "the address is not found" display appeared. What a day! How could I do everything without internet? I needed to submit it before 8.30 this morning!
That was the first one. Later on, after I calmed myself down, I started to do other assignment. It was my report for the leadership workshop. In this report, I was asked several questions about myself, my personality, my dream job and things like that. And it really took me sometime to answer those personal questions and moreover it would be put on my portfolio. And in a time, I got stuck and had no intention to continue finishing that, since it was a lot.
To refresh my mind, I went back to my tummy. I took a pistolete bread, cheese and beef. I ate again. The second breakfast was quite good, except it was too hot and the cheese was too melted and the bread was too soft. It was my mistake to put them in the microwave. Do not try it.
As I am going back again to my room, I found that the internet connection was there. I was like thanking God for it. I looked at my watch, it showed 4 o'clock already. Time flies. Then without hesitating, I opened my mail and started working on my project; I had 4 hours to go. \
The assignment was not that hard but the bed and the blanket always asked me to quit my job and went back to them. I hate that. Even more, today I would have a very long day. I got a seminar from the first period until the ninth's . Only thinking about it made me out of my mood and losing my control. I said to the Invisible, "I do not want to pass today. I want to be free. I want to sleep." But still, my feeling got worst. Thus, I forced myself to do everything as quick as possible and done before the deadline.
To be continued...
Yesterday, I slept at seven in the evening. The main reason why I went to bed so soon was my tummy. I was so hungry but so lazy to cook anything and then the smart thought came by. I was like thinking that I could sleep first for about one or two hours and wake up before eight. I hoped that Ko Budi would get home late and thus cook the dinner late and I could eat together with him without cooking. That was so smart and mean of me. =).
But, I am sure you all know the fact, I could not wake up at eight. The sleepingsmarty was overslept. The bed, the blanket, and the air were so attractive that made me more unwilling to step down on the floor and let the comfort get away from my body. I stayed in bed for hours till I knew it was one and I should get my things done.
First thing to do was my dinner, my dearest tummy really demanded me for the delay in the delivery. The dinner was no longer dinner, it turned to a breakfast. Pancakes without anything were put in the one-minute-set microwave and I drank my tasty, addictive banana milk. In three seconds the banana milk was gone. As far as I could remember, I finished one liter of the milk in one day. What a milk.
The pancakes were ready and I brought it upstairs, to my messy-cute room. I had decided to have my dinfast (dinner-breakfast) and the assignment together. I opened mozzila of course, not internet explorer, and tried to open my e-mail. I waited for so long, but it kept loading. And suddenly, "the address is not found" display appeared. What a day! How could I do everything without internet? I needed to submit it before 8.30 this morning!
That was the first one. Later on, after I calmed myself down, I started to do other assignment. It was my report for the leadership workshop. In this report, I was asked several questions about myself, my personality, my dream job and things like that. And it really took me sometime to answer those personal questions and moreover it would be put on my portfolio. And in a time, I got stuck and had no intention to continue finishing that, since it was a lot.
To refresh my mind, I went back to my tummy. I took a pistolete bread, cheese and beef. I ate again. The second breakfast was quite good, except it was too hot and the cheese was too melted and the bread was too soft. It was my mistake to put them in the microwave. Do not try it.
As I am going back again to my room, I found that the internet connection was there. I was like thanking God for it. I looked at my watch, it showed 4 o'clock already. Time flies. Then without hesitating, I opened my mail and started working on my project; I had 4 hours to go. \
The assignment was not that hard but the bed and the blanket always asked me to quit my job and went back to them. I hate that. Even more, today I would have a very long day. I got a seminar from the first period until the ninth's . Only thinking about it made me out of my mood and losing my control. I said to the Invisible, "I do not want to pass today. I want to be free. I want to sleep." But still, my feeling got worst. Thus, I forced myself to do everything as quick as possible and done before the deadline.
To be continued...
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Salam bagi Sahabat.
Hi friends, welcome to my blog!
This song "Salam bagi Sahabat" by Glenn Fredly and Albert AFI Junior has been rhyming in me since months ago till now. =). I pray that it becomes a rhyme for you too. Salam!
God bless you always.
This song "Salam bagi Sahabat" by Glenn Fredly and Albert AFI Junior has been rhyming in me since months ago till now. =). I pray that it becomes a rhyme for you too. Salam!
Bagai mentari bersinar di indahnya pagi.
Adalah hidupmu siap memancarkan sinar.
Lihatlah hidupmu penuh dengan kesempatan.
Walau beban hidup menghalang, jangan lari dari bebanmu.
Adalah berita dari seorang sahabatku.
Indahnya hidupmu, jangan pernah kau hempaskan
Pengharapan datang bila kau membuka hatimu.
Cari dan temukan pastikan pengharapan ada padamu.
Hidupmu indah bila kau tahu jalan mana yang benar.
Harapan ada, harapan ada, bila kau mengerti.
Hidupmu indah bila kau tahu jalan mana yang benar.
Harapan ada, harapan ada (pastikanlah) bila kau percaya.
Pengharapan datang bila kau membuka hatimu,
cari dan temukan pastikan.
Adalah hidupmu siap memancarkan sinar.
Lihatlah hidupmu penuh dengan kesempatan.
Walau beban hidup menghalang, jangan lari dari bebanmu.
Adalah berita dari seorang sahabatku.
Indahnya hidupmu, jangan pernah kau hempaskan
Pengharapan datang bila kau membuka hatimu.
Cari dan temukan pastikan pengharapan ada padamu.
Hidupmu indah bila kau tahu jalan mana yang benar.
Harapan ada, harapan ada, bila kau mengerti.
Hidupmu indah bila kau tahu jalan mana yang benar.
Harapan ada, harapan ada (pastikanlah) bila kau percaya.
Pengharapan datang bila kau membuka hatimu,
cari dan temukan pastikan.
God bless you always.
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