A Journey with the Invisible Hand

Memelihara didikan

2009-10-04T01:11:00.000-07:00

Memelihara didikan.
How?
Apakah didikan bias dipelihara? Diberi makan? Diberi minum? Dibuatkan kandang? Dimandikan? Apakah didikan itu hidup sehingga dia harus dipelihara?
Bisa juga didikan itu tidak bisa hidup sendiri sehingga kita harus merawatnya. Didikan seperti seekor kucing yang hilang yang tiba-tiba datang ke dalam rumah kita lewat pintu kucing yang terbuka. Kucing ini membutuhkan tempat perteduhan, kehangatan dan kasih sayang terlebih dari kebutuhannya mencari makanan untuk perutnya.
Apa yang bisa kita lakukan jika didikan kita kondisikan sebagai kucing tersebut? Kadang dia datang secara tiba-tiba dan tak disangka. Kita harus siap menanganinya. Saat kita memeliharanya, itu akan menjadi sebuah sukacita tersendiri.
Seringkali bagi kita orang yang bukan penyayang binatang, merawat sesuatu bukanlah hal yang mudah. Tetapi coba bayangkan saja, bagaimana jika Anda diberi sebuah mobil Ferrari versi terbaru yang Anda bisa gunakan kapanpun dan dimanapun juga. Mobil ini diserahkan kepada Anda untuk dipelihara. Yang jelas Anda tetap punya pilihan, menerima atau menolaknya. Saya pilih menerimanya. Saya akan sangat bersukacita bila punya satu dan pasti saya akan merawatnya (mungkin bukan saya, sopir saya yang akan melakukannya), tetapi pastilah kita akan menyayanginya dan tidak akan membiarkan sesuatu yang buruk terjadi padanya.
Begitu juga, saya piker, yang seharusnya kita lakukan untuk memelihara didikan. Mungkin didikan ini datang dengan tidak sengaja, contoh yang sangat dasar: suatu saat ayah kita datang dengan tidak ada angin dan hujan langsung marah-marah sama kita. Dia mengingatkan tentang kecerobohan yang terjadi berbulan-bulan lalu. Reaksi kita? Mari kita coba untuk menerimanya dengan lapang dan memikirkan apa yang didikan itu katakan. Setelah kita mengerti apa yang harus kita perbaiki, pasti kita bisa terus berjalan menurut didikan itu hari demi hari dan hidup kita pun akan beruntung.

Selalu ada saja

2009-04-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

Terbersit kebaikan yang kuterima,
besar kecil dan tak sama,
tapi selalu ada saja.

Tak tahu dari siapa,
tak kira dari mana,
tak hitung butuh berapa.

Aku tahu Tuhan ada,
Dia yang buat kuberada,
dan kub'ri yang terbaik bagiNya.

Live my life to the fullest

2009-02-24T23:56:00.000-08:00

Hi, everybody. It's been over than a month that I have taken down notes of my experience. Well, it doesn't mean that if i don't write anything, nothing extraordinary happen to me. In fact, I have been through significant turning points. Don't worry, I will write them later. For today, I got a message for my life, "Live my life to the fullest."

I can't remember since when my life became so dull. It's like I didn't have any more spirit to do something big, to excel myself, to plan my future and even to study for school. I just took everything in raw and wanted not to process it. I saw my life going by. Day by day, night after night, I live a life like that. Moreover, recently I think I can live without the I.

I spent yesterday for friends, today for my desire and tomorrow for fun. What an enjoyable life I had.

I was kept having fun until yesterday I realized that there is something wrong with my life. Indeed, I did not know what's wrong and then I asked.

An answer came this morning. I am created not for myself but for the I. If I am living a life like this it's for me and not for Him. I should change.

I was reminded too about the workers who had been given 5 minas, 2 minas and 1 mina. The worker with 5 came back with 10. The worker with 2 brought back 4 minas. And the one who only had one mina return without multiplicating the mina and he was condemned. But, today I learnt not from the one with one mina but from the ones with 5 and 2 minas.

They both had similarities. They worked and they got a return of 100%. 5 x 2 = 10. 2 x 2 = 4.
Though the amount of mina trusted for them was not the same one was as productive as the other.

100% profit? It's quite impossible to be realized for these days. A SMART goal with 100% profit is also too crazy. But this is what the I desired and it is possible. If not, He would not made an example like that.

He wants our life to profit him 100% and not just 30% or 50% or 80% or 99.9%. It's 100% of my best that I should offer Him.

I know it will not be easy to do so. But the most important thing for now is I got the spirit to 100%. And now I don't have time to waste. Everymoment is precious.

Mazmur 73:21-28 (Psalm 73:21-28)

2009-01-28T00:23:00.000-08:00

21 Ketika hatiku merasa pahit
dan buah pinggangku
menusuk-nusuk rasanya,

22 aku dungu dan tidak mengerti,
seperti hewan aku di dekat-Mu.

23 tetapi aku tetap di dekat-Mu;
Engkau memegang tangan kananku.

24 Dengan nasihat-Mu Engkau
menuntun aku,
Dan kemudian Engkau mengangkat aku
ke dalam kemuliaan.

25 Siapa gerangan ada padaku di sorga
selain Engkau?
Selain Engkau tidak ada yang kuingini
di bumi.

26 Sekalipun dagingku dan hatiku
habis lenyap,
gunung batuku dan bagianku tetaplah
Allah selama-lamanya.

27 Sebab sesungguhnya, siapa yang
jauh dari pada-Mu akan binasa;
Kaubinasakan semua orang,
yang berzinah dengan meninggalkan Engkau.

28 tetapi aku, aku suka dekat pada Allah;
aku menaruh tempat perlindunganku
pada Tuhan Allah,
supaya dapat menceritakan
segala pekerjaan-Nya.

Psalm 73:21-28 (The Message)

21-24 When I was beleaguered and bitter,
totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
in your very presence.
I'm still in your presence,
but you've taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me,
and then you bless me.

25-28 You're all I want in heaven!
You're all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful.
Look! Those who left you are falling apart!
Deserters, they'll never be heard from again.
But I'm in the very presence of God—
oh, how refreshing it is!
I've made Lord God my home.
God, I'm telling the world what you do!

Kami T'rima (We Receive)

2009-01-19T03:42:00.000-08:00

Kami yang t’lah ditebus
Dengan darah yang kudus
Mengangkat pujian bagi-Mu

Kami bait kudus-Mu
S’bagai bukti karya-Mu
Nyatakan Kau besar dan hidup

Berlari sampai tujuan
Mendapatkan mahkota kekal

Reff:
Kami t’rima kuasa-Mu Tuhan
Kami t’rima kemenangan yang Engkau sediakan ‘tuk kami bawa
Di setiap langkah
Di mana pun kami berdiri
Ke mana pun kami ‘kan pergi
Di situ pasti mujizat-Mu terjadi
Kami t’rima kuasa-Mu Tuhan
Kami t’rima kuasa-Mu

True Worshiper 2008 - All Things New Album

Before my assessment this morning, this song really rhymed in me. The lyric says "Kami t'rima kuasa-Mu Tuhan. Kami t’rima kemenangan yang Engkau sediakan ‘tuk kami bawa di setiap langkah. Ke mana pun kami ‘kan pergi di situ pasti mujizat-Mu terjadi." It means, "We receive the power of the Lord, we receive the VICTORY that You PROVIDE, ..., wherever we will go, Your miracle surely happens."

One thing I can derive from this song; the I has provided us the victory. I can just receive it only if I know that it is provided already. So, this morning I knew that the victory is there what I only need is open my hand and receive it.

However I need to know the time when the victory will be given too if I am going to receive it. Without timing and effort, I can miss the opportunity. Therefore, I should be watchful anytime.

This afternoon, the assessment came. Praise God, I did it well. I am really glad about the outcome. It is all because of Him, from Him, and for Him.

This semester was really great to be spent with the I. I really thank Him for the faithfulness. Now is the time to enter the new semester! I am excited!

Do I have breakfast already?

2009-01-18T12:48:00.000-08:00

For some people breakfast is the most important meal for their day. It provides the energy and strength for them to run their day. If they don't have it, their day might be disastrous. They will not be able to concentrate, will feel really lazy and weak, thus will be frustrated and unable to enjoy the day with big smiles on their mouth.

I am thinking of if our body is like that so my spirit will be. It is not only my body which needs so much energy for the day, my spirit does too. My spirit also works the whole day; accompanying me anytime, guiding me through the road I take, and most of the time helping me to take final decisions. His job is not easy, huh?

This is why I am writing this blog. I was like reminded that somehow when I forgot to read my Life Guidance book, there is somebody starving and still has to do all the job for the day.

How could I be possibly so mean?

So now, every morning I will ask myself, "Do I have breakfast already?"

~ Luke 4:4~

One Remarkable Night Walk

2009-01-11T13:04:00.000-08:00

A burst of joy flew into my heart today and made my day wonderful. If I would tell, I would not stop.

The summary:
- I got a surprise this morning; the Invisible is not silent for my prayers =b.
- Friends love Mum's chosen color; sea blue.
- The "humorous" Pa.
- Enjoying the acoustic praise and worship.
- Money in the pocket.
- Small lunch, XL dinner.
- The "Night Walk"

Here the story is:
I directly went home after dinner. It was quite late and I had to walk my way home alone. The bus should come to the bus stop 20 minutes after I left my friend's house. So, I walked quite slow, enjoying the night, since it should only take me 15 minutes walking to the bus stop.

As I was walking I looked up to the sky above and realized there was Purnama, full moon. It shines so wonderfully and so brightly. And also the sky, it was so pure, so clean and so spirit up. The clouds seemed to be swept away together with the light of the moon. God, I really enjoyed staring at the moon, so peaceful and so true.

I kept walking. Once and twice I looked back again to the moon and still was not able to refuse admiring it. It fascinated me until I saw my bus. Too bad, I missed it. Not long after another bus came, and once again I missed it too. I had to wait for 10 minutes then. I was not sad, I ever rejoiced that I can take a lot of pictures of the moon at those minutes of my waiting although those pictures could not really paint the wonders. 10 minutes passed and my bus came. =).

The whole way home, I really did not think that I was walking alone. It was felt that I got accompaniment. Not to scary you, but I did not feel alone. I could feel the presence of the Invisible. He was so real. He was like walking by my side and watching over me.

As I got closer to home I said to myself, "I see and feel winter cold out here, but my heart feels warm inside for I am not alone, I can feel the love."

Good night.

Early Clue for the Wonderful Year

2009-01-10T13:13:00.000-08:00

It is 2009 and I am excited enough to see what will happen this year. I do not know about tomorrow and I will never know, only God knows I know. Will it be smooth? Will it be rough? I can not make sure. A message I got at the end of 2008 from the I, "don't worry". So I have no reason not to be excited! I hope everyone of you is excited enough too like me. "Don't worry".

I really do not expect clues come so early. One came on Monday this week. It is entitled, "A Faith Like A Child".

Talking about FAITH, there is one hanging in my room, it tells about this word. The cross like hanging says, "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

To have the faith like a child, what I should do is to just follow direction. A little innocent child would never know if his father led him or asked him to go to the wrong direction, he will not even ask back, he will just go. He trusted his father.

But, so fortunately, the I knows the way, He will not send to wrong places. The only thing I have to do is just follow, like the little child would do.

The Hand Lifted Me Up (Part 2)

2008-12-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

Continued...

When I finished the project assignment, it was like 5.30 in the morning. I opened my Fontys mail (the official mail used for school's business) to send the project to the coach. The e-mail was sent but then I saw an e-mail from the coach in my inbox.

In the e-mail she said that she was sorry to send the feedback of the previous report late. Yes, this feedback was one that I waited for too and I was just able to open it this morning. The feedback was like what I expected it would be. The previous report still needs to have a lot of adjustment on it. I knew it that she was right and I need to make a huge change on it. But still, I was quite disappointed with myself. I had done that part for the whole night and the result was....

In a moment, I realized, I did not want to be overwhelmed by my disappointment, since it will not help anything. The only thing that will help was to change the report itself. At that moment, I decided to fix the previous report and wished to finish it before the seminar at 9 starts. I leaved out the other issues in my mind for tonight.

When I was half way doing the fixing things, the short arm of the clock pointed at number 6. Suddenly, a new yahoo messenger window appeared in my desktop. It was my lovely funny just-married sister, Devi. I was not expecting of her at that moment. At first it was like distracting my concentration on my plan, on my project. I tried to cut the conversation short but how could I? It was a long time since we had our last conversation.

During our call, my heart was not calm, but I tried to be as objective as possible and control myself. I talked to myself, "What on earth am I here for? Myself? My study? Others?". I replied, "Not for myself. The Invisible was used to be living for others. He was there when others need Him." I added, "Okay, then".

In the middle of the talk, another windows appeared. It was from an old friend, Kak Rey. It seemed that I missed the whole thing about Rehoboth since I leaved for the Netherlands three months ago. Rehoboth is growing fast and well-equipped now. More people are brought to the Way and there is more of the freedom-we-know in those people.

I was quite happy to hear this kind of news and the call was going well too. But I was feeling desperate in someway. The time was getting shorter before I had to face my real life at school and I felt unprepared. I felt that I needed the Invisible hand to take my hand and lead my way today. At 7.30, I ended all conversations. I came back to the heart of worship.

I only had 30 minutes to approach the Invisible. It was short but enough. Directly, I told the Invisible, "I can not pass today." In my mind, having the seminar today was not so necessary compared to other assignments that I should be finishing. It would be just a waste of time, listening to a stranger and his marketing theory and also working on a case with unknown team-members. I really did not think that it would be cool to attend this seminar. But I should, it would be graded. =(.

Apparently, as I came closer to the Invisible, I knew that if I kept on thinking like this the day would be a real waste. I would not get anything out of the tiring boring nine periods seminar. Still, I just could not get rid of all my negative thinking. It fuzzed me up. What I did later on was kept in the presence of the Invisible until I got an answer.

"Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." I responsed to the answer quickly, "I am coming". And from the moment, I got the strength to go to the seminar and enjoy it.

The seminar was not bad at all, though some people were sleepy when the lecture going on. I could also cheer Ria as she was homesick the whole morning. And before the seminar began, at lunch time and after the seminar is over there were snacks, sandwiches and coffee. Everything was for the rejoicing tummy. At the end, I also got the only and the best team ever in the seminar (in my point of view).

To end today's long journey. A surprise was given by the Invisible. Our team won the case. We had to present our findings for the case in front. I thought, all the gentlemen would do the talking. So, I was relaxed and went to the podium confidently. I thought, I would say no words what should I be nervous of.

Inexpectedly, things change so fast in the podium. The team was lacking one person to do the last part of the presentation. There was no other option, except me, then there I did it. Well, the Invisible put His words in my mouth, so today I said a word before a number of audiences and got a quite warm applause from them. The applause was the Invisible's. Thank you, Vi.

The Hand lifted me up from nothing to something today. Only if I would not find the strength, I would not be able to pass the day and have this blog written this way. Everything comes from, is for and is unto the Lover of my soul, the Invisible.

The End.

The Hand Lifted Me Up (Part 1)

2008-12-04T08:11:00.001-08:00

Today I woke up quite early, about one or two o'clock in the morning. Well, I planned to wake up earlier actually; like on 10 o'clock the day before. I still had to finish a lot of things, I knew. And these whole project assignments, reports and reflections really drove me crazy.

Yesterday, I slept at seven in the evening. The main reason why I went to bed so soon was my tummy. I was so hungry but so lazy to cook anything and then the smart thought came by. I was like thinking that I could sleep first for about one or two hours and wake up before eight. I hoped that Ko Budi would get home late and thus cook the dinner late and I could eat together with him without cooking. That was so smart and mean of me. =).

But, I am sure you all know the fact, I could not wake up at eight. The sleepingsmarty was overslept. The bed, the blanket, and the air were so attractive that made me more unwilling to step down on the floor and let the comfort get away from my body. I stayed in bed for hours till I knew it was one and I should get my things done.

First thing to do was my dinner, my dearest tummy really demanded me for the delay in the delivery. The dinner was no longer dinner, it turned to a breakfast. Pancakes without anything were put in the one-minute-set microwave and I drank my tasty, addictive banana milk. In three seconds the banana milk was gone. As far as I could remember, I finished one liter of the milk in one day. What a milk.

The pancakes were ready and I brought it upstairs, to my messy-cute room. I had decided to have my dinfast (dinner-breakfast) and the assignment together. I opened mozzila of course, not internet explorer, and tried to open my e-mail. I waited for so long, but it kept loading. And suddenly, "the address is not found" display appeared. What a day! How could I do everything without internet? I needed to submit it before 8.30 this morning!

That was the first one. Later on, after I calmed myself down, I started to do other assignment. It was my report for the leadership workshop. In this report, I was asked several questions about myself, my personality, my dream job and things like that. And it really took me sometime to answer those personal questions and moreover it would be put on my portfolio. And in a time, I got stuck and had no intention to continue finishing that, since it was a lot.

To refresh my mind, I went back to my tummy. I took a pistolete bread, cheese and beef. I ate again. The second breakfast was quite good, except it was too hot and the cheese was too melted and the bread was too soft. It was my mistake to put them in the microwave. Do not try it.

As I am going back again to my room, I found that the internet connection was there. I was like thanking God for it. I looked at my watch, it showed 4 o'clock already. Time flies. Then without hesitating, I opened my mail and started working on my project; I had 4 hours to go. \

The assignment was not that hard but the bed and the blanket always asked me to quit my job and went back to them. I hate that. Even more, today I would have a very long day. I got a seminar from the first period until the ninth's . Only thinking about it made me out of my mood and losing my control. I said to the Invisible, "I do not want to pass today. I want to be free. I want to sleep." But still, my feeling got worst. Thus, I forced myself to do everything as quick as possible and done before the deadline.

To be continued...

Salam bagi Sahabat.

2008-12-03T02:17:00.000-08:00

Hi friends, welcome to my blog!
This song "Salam bagi Sahabat" by Glenn Fredly and Albert AFI Junior has been rhyming in me since months ago till now. =). I pray that it becomes a rhyme for you too. Salam!

Bagai mentari bersinar di indahnya pagi.
Adalah hidupmu siap memancarkan sinar.
Lihatlah hidupmu penuh dengan kesempatan.
Walau beban hidup menghalang, jangan lari dari bebanmu.

Adalah berita dari seorang sahabatku.
Indahnya hidupmu, jangan pernah kau hempaskan
Pengharapan datang bila kau membuka hatimu.
Cari dan temukan pastikan pengharapan ada padamu.

Hidupmu indah bila kau tahu jalan mana yang benar.
Harapan ada, harapan ada, bila kau mengerti.
Hidupmu indah bila kau tahu jalan mana yang benar.
Harapan ada, harapan ada (pastikanlah) bila kau percaya.

Pengharapan datang bila kau membuka hatimu,
cari dan temukan pastikan.

God bless you always.